Nappy Time

Local Restaurant

So, the photo shows the interior of my local restaurant. Desperate, long fish/eels, flapping about and rapidly drying-out frogs await their doom. As you can see, some patrons sport the common city fashion of flannel pyjamas, which I was pleased about, as I’d read a fair bit about that before arrival and indeed, have packed my own, although I’ve been a bit shy to wear them out so far. They look good though out of context, I’m sure you’ll agree.

From one extreme to the other, I visited the Shanghai Gallery of Art yesterday, situated in a very grand building down the water on the Bund, above Armani and below a very fancy Spa. Although I enjoyed the exhibition, really the highlight of my trip and of my day was the time I spent in the toilet. Having been suffering smelly, squat toilets since arrival, and constantly having to carry the handy-andies around due to lack of toilet paper, my colleagues and I refer to our trips to relieve ourselves as “Nappy Time”, as opposed to Hammer Time – obviously.

The Shanghai Gallery of Art had a throne not only commendable for China, but on a world scale I would say its toilet was right up there. As I entered, the lid of the futuristic commode lifted automatically. As I sat, I realised it was heated, then the music started…Liszt’s Liebestraume, one of my favourites to play on the ivories. I actually got a bit of a fright, and felt I may have entered an alternate reality, stood up for a minute, but then just settled down, realising that the Lord must have thrown me a small bone, and I should just sit back and enjoy. A button on my right allowed me a bottom massage and once flushed – I could choose between light or full – a puff of air freshener came out of the side of the wall. A truly luxurious and almost religious experience. Something I never thought I’d find in a chinese toilet.